February 2010
10 posts
1 tag
Like Glee But Without The Lip-Synching High...
Me: Are you nervous about your audition?
Her: Nah. I know I'm not a great singer but I love it SO TOO BAD, WORLD! I WILL SING FOREVER!!
Me: Well, break a leg!
Her: Thanks. Poke an eye out!
Target Carries Useful Things. Like Immortality.
Me: OMG! Look at this bottle of Excedrin I just bought. It holds as much ten small bottles. They should call it "Mother's BIG Helper".
Him: Yeah. Don't get near it when you're sad. It looks totally suicidey.
Me: What you call an overdose, I just call a dose.
Him: Agree to disagree.
Me: Wait, this stuff is totally full of caffeine. Instead of dying, you'd just be awake FOREVER.
Him: Which is the opposite of killing yourself.
Me: Stay away from the Excedrin, son. I don't want you committing anti-suicide.
Him: That's mean.
1 tag
Flowers In The Attic
Me: ...then you could hide in the attic like Helen Keller.
Her: ...
Me: What?
Her: Do you mean Anne Frank?
Me: Which one kept a diary?
Her: I'm walking away now.
1 tag
1 tag
Poor Thing Had To Eat Ore-Ida FROM THE OVEN
Her: I can't help but think that all of our problems would be solved if we just owned a Fry Daddy.
1 tag
Poverty Prompts Pep Talk
Her: We won't always be poor. You’re a writer now. I mean, JK Rowling was REALLY old when the first Harry Potter book came out.
Me: She was 32.
Her: Oh. Well.
Me: …
Her: Well, you LOOK younger than she did. That’s why I got confused. She TOTALLY looks older than you.
“Mom did you see? I was telling you in body language that I wanted more computer...”
– -Henry, age 6
(via kellyoxford)
3 tags
1 tag
I Can't Believe It's Not Sarcasm!
Her: Ooooh, name brand margarine! What’s the big occasion? Oh, god, you’re dying, aren’t you?
1 tag
Watching Snow Closings On The News Is Like Waiting...
Her: 'Little People’s Paradise Childcare'? That sounds so… so…
Me: Molesty?
Her: Yep.